Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Baby, you're ranked above NotA
On the preferential ballot of my heart
Some Top Ten lists for the attention span deficient:
Top Ten Calgary-Related News Items About Which I am Angry
2. Flames Win
Beyond the fact that they're the Flames and therefore evil, consider the enviable position in which the NHLPA will find itself heading into the collective bargaining process:
Bettman: We need a salary cap to protect small market teams.
Goodenow: Small-market teams like the Stanley Cup champion Calgary Flames?
Bettman: We need to amend the unrestricted free agency requirements to allow small market teams to keep their veteran stars.
Goodenow: Small-market teams like the Stanley Cup champion Calgary Flames?
Every Oilers fan should be cheering against the Flames just because they're the Flames. The above, though, also explains why every Flames fan should cheer against the Flames.
1. University of Calgary Students' Union Executive Cabinet attempts to shut down the U of C Webboard
A motion will apparently be brought forward to the U of C S.U.'s Students' Legislative Council - with unanimous support from the Executive Cabinet - next Tuesday to eliminate the U of C Webboard, because free speech apparently makes the organization look bad.
President and partisan Liberal Brian West, in supporting the motion, is further proving that the word "Liberal" does not necessarily bear any synonymity (NOTE TO SELF: Before publishing, check to see if "synonymity" is a word and, if it isn't, write strongly worded letter to the editors of OED) to the word "liberal".
Finally, as tempting as it may be for all of us freedom-loving U of A hacks to flood the U of C Webboard with spluttering and barely coherent attacks on the Executive's courage, the leader of the forces of good down there has suggested (quite correctly) that it might be best to let U of C hacks work this out on their own, to avoid any appearance of highjackery by external forces.
Top Ten Newfoundland-Related News Items Towards Which I am Feeling Ambivalent
1. John Crosbie to run for Member of Parliament as a Conservative
First of all, let me say that I love John Crosbie like the angry cod-faced great uncle I never had. We need more wit in the House of Commons, and I can think of few better-poised to provide it than Reformer John. On the other hand, this probably spells one more Conservative seat, residual anger over the closure of the cod fishery notwithstanding, and Conservative seats don't me happy. Moreover, while Crosbie has genuine cred as a defender of democracy (witness his work against Joey Smallwood), he's also every bit the hypocrite and opportunist that the worst of the Mulroney ministers was. Contrast, for example, his recent, vehement, and wholly justified criticism of the Liberal government's rampant patronage with his remarks in his memoir, "No Holds Barred" (which, by the way, should be required reading for every human being):
"I believe in political patronage. Leaders shouldn't be ashamed or embarassed about looking after their supporters. Patronage is a good thing. It's essential to the democratic process. It makes the party system work. We should have more patronage, not less."
Ah, maybe it's just the old Progressive Conservative in me bitter at his eleventh hour conversion to the pro-merger side.
Top Ten Misconceptions That Are Pissing me Off
2. Budgets must be balanced, always; any government to fail to run a balanced budget every year is full of delinquent pinkos
Listen: economists believe in this crazy little thing called the economic cycle. The economic cycle generally spans several fiscal years. I've never heard an economist say that budgets should be balanced every year - that's a line reserved for the politicians. What economists say is that budgets should be balanced over the economic cycle as a whole.
Now, I'm not saying that the federal government should not, at this point, be running a balanced budget - probably it should. The fashion in which balanced budgets have been made the sacred cow of Canadian politics has just been sticking in my craw.
1. "Exponential" is synonymous with "rapid."
Okay, here's a question for all of you journalists in the readership - which of the following data series is growing exponentially?
a. 1, 4, 9, 16. . .
b. 100, 200, 300, 400. . .
c. 1000, 1100, 1210, 1331. . .
d. 1, 16, 81, 225. . .
Seriously. E-mail me your answer and justification at steve.smith@ualberta.ca. Correct answers will be duly noted. Incorrect ones will be publicly ridiculed. Absent ones will be presumed to be incorrect.
Next time I see the word "exponential" or "exponentially" used in what I suspect of being an incorrect fashion, I shall pursue the guilty party relentlessly until she/he prints a retraction or shows me that, contrary to my suspicions, the growth in question was truly exponential.
Bah.
|
On the preferential ballot of my heart
Some Top Ten lists for the attention span deficient:
Top Ten Calgary-Related News Items About Which I am Angry
2. Flames Win
Beyond the fact that they're the Flames and therefore evil, consider the enviable position in which the NHLPA will find itself heading into the collective bargaining process:
Bettman: We need a salary cap to protect small market teams.
Goodenow: Small-market teams like the Stanley Cup champion Calgary Flames?
Bettman: We need to amend the unrestricted free agency requirements to allow small market teams to keep their veteran stars.
Goodenow: Small-market teams like the Stanley Cup champion Calgary Flames?
Every Oilers fan should be cheering against the Flames just because they're the Flames. The above, though, also explains why every Flames fan should cheer against the Flames.
1. University of Calgary Students' Union Executive Cabinet attempts to shut down the U of C Webboard
A motion will apparently be brought forward to the U of C S.U.'s Students' Legislative Council - with unanimous support from the Executive Cabinet - next Tuesday to eliminate the U of C Webboard, because free speech apparently makes the organization look bad.
President and partisan Liberal Brian West, in supporting the motion, is further proving that the word "Liberal" does not necessarily bear any synonymity (NOTE TO SELF: Before publishing, check to see if "synonymity" is a word and, if it isn't, write strongly worded letter to the editors of OED) to the word "liberal".
Finally, as tempting as it may be for all of us freedom-loving U of A hacks to flood the U of C Webboard with spluttering and barely coherent attacks on the Executive's courage, the leader of the forces of good down there has suggested (quite correctly) that it might be best to let U of C hacks work this out on their own, to avoid any appearance of highjackery by external forces.
Top Ten Newfoundland-Related News Items Towards Which I am Feeling Ambivalent
1. John Crosbie to run for Member of Parliament as a Conservative
First of all, let me say that I love John Crosbie like the angry cod-faced great uncle I never had. We need more wit in the House of Commons, and I can think of few better-poised to provide it than Reformer John. On the other hand, this probably spells one more Conservative seat, residual anger over the closure of the cod fishery notwithstanding, and Conservative seats don't me happy. Moreover, while Crosbie has genuine cred as a defender of democracy (witness his work against Joey Smallwood), he's also every bit the hypocrite and opportunist that the worst of the Mulroney ministers was. Contrast, for example, his recent, vehement, and wholly justified criticism of the Liberal government's rampant patronage with his remarks in his memoir, "No Holds Barred" (which, by the way, should be required reading for every human being):
"I believe in political patronage. Leaders shouldn't be ashamed or embarassed about looking after their supporters. Patronage is a good thing. It's essential to the democratic process. It makes the party system work. We should have more patronage, not less."
Ah, maybe it's just the old Progressive Conservative in me bitter at his eleventh hour conversion to the pro-merger side.
Top Ten Misconceptions That Are Pissing me Off
2. Budgets must be balanced, always; any government to fail to run a balanced budget every year is full of delinquent pinkos
Listen: economists believe in this crazy little thing called the economic cycle. The economic cycle generally spans several fiscal years. I've never heard an economist say that budgets should be balanced every year - that's a line reserved for the politicians. What economists say is that budgets should be balanced over the economic cycle as a whole.
Now, I'm not saying that the federal government should not, at this point, be running a balanced budget - probably it should. The fashion in which balanced budgets have been made the sacred cow of Canadian politics has just been sticking in my craw.
1. "Exponential" is synonymous with "rapid."
Okay, here's a question for all of you journalists in the readership - which of the following data series is growing exponentially?
a. 1, 4, 9, 16. . .
b. 100, 200, 300, 400. . .
c. 1000, 1100, 1210, 1331. . .
d. 1, 16, 81, 225. . .
Seriously. E-mail me your answer and justification at steve.smith@ualberta.ca. Correct answers will be duly noted. Incorrect ones will be publicly ridiculed. Absent ones will be presumed to be incorrect.
Next time I see the word "exponential" or "exponentially" used in what I suspect of being an incorrect fashion, I shall pursue the guilty party relentlessly until she/he prints a retraction or shows me that, contrary to my suspicions, the growth in question was truly exponential.
Bah.
