Wednesday, February 23, 2005
News from Steve's hit tracker
Steve, it's been a while since you've posted. . .
Why, so it has been, Blog-Conscience! I should rectify that!
Indeed you should, Steve.
Unfortunately, I have no ideas. Have you any?
I am Blog-Conscience, Steve, not Blog-Inspiration.
Of course, my mistake. I'll just have to summon Blog-Inspiration, then.
I'm afraid that won't do, Steve, for Blog-Inspiration has deserted you. Had you not noticed?
What? Oh, woe! To what manner of mistreatment had I subjected it for me to be deserving of such a fate?
It was sick of the way that you disregarded all of its ideas in favour of inane posts about gay marriage and your tracking statistics.
Hmm. Well, I suppose that's fair, really. And, on that note, tracking statistics. . .
Steve, you make me sick. But, before I exit the scene, allow me to provide the exciting news that Nick fowler, your comrade in arms from DJSR, has started a blog.
Really? Well, oh. . . what's the opposite of "woe"?
Blessing, consolation, gift, godsend, solace, bliss, euphoria, pleasure, happiness, joy. . .
Joy. That's the one for which I was looking, I believe.
Anyway, here are some of the latest lovelies from the old hit tracker:
1. Telus unreliable This one wouldn't be all that remarkable, except for the followup e-mail that I received a couple of days ago:
Well, Ronald, I find it quite remarkable that you not only went far enough down in the Google results for that search to find my site, but also went through the trouble of locating my e-mail address once you were here, but that it was too much effort for you to actually read my blog and note that nowhere do I say anything about Telus being unreliable. I assume Telus *is* unreliable, mind you, I just lack any sort of authority on the matter. Have fun with your class action suit anyway, though.
2. Why did Martin Mulroney finish being a Prime Minister? Was it because a election or retirement or something else? The answer to this question - that he resigned in 1993 when electoral defeat seemed certain and imminent, leaving Kim Campbell to pick up the pieces - is pretty well-known among anybody who knows the first thing about Canadian political history. Of course, it's probably not as well-known as the fact that Mr. Mulroney prefers to go by his middle name, Brian, so perhaps I'd best refrain from assumptions of basic knowledge on the part of wahoos who stumble across this space through random web searches.
3. fuck luann If this is an expression of opinion on the strip, I am quite in agreement. If this is a fantasy of yours, seek help.
4. Mackenzie Bowell's accomplishments As Prime Minister? He really didn't have any, except for acquiring the dubious distinction of being the only PM in Canadian history - and, very possibly, the only PM in Commonwealth history - to be ousted from office by his own cabinet (which he appointed). It's quite coincidental, though, that he would come up in my tracking statistics at the very time that my history prof and I are experiencing a slight disagreement over what *prompted* this cabinet revolt, with me saying that it was a result of his dithering over, and subsequent decision on, the matter of remedial legislation to disallow Manitoban legislation widely perceived to be discriminatory towards the province's sizeable francophone minority, and him countering (in the margins of my paper, in red pen) "actually, this isn't true".
5. renee levesque quebec kidnapped Really, now, how much sense would it have made for the FLQ to kidnap one of the politicians the most sympathetic to their cause? Do your research before Googling me, fool!
6. mackenzie bowell's promises to Canada What's with the suddent Mackenzie Bowell fascination? I mean, really, there have probably been more forgettable figures in Canadian political history, but I must have forgotten who they are because I can't think of any.
And now a couple of non-hit tracker related items:
1. If you ever want to get somebody drunk without his/her knowledge - and if you do, please tell me in advance that I might contact the proper authorities, you sick, predatory, fuck - I can suggest no better drink than gin and grapefruit juice.
2. In what I swear is unrelated news, does anybody know of a libel lawyer who might be willing to do some pro bono or discounted work for a good cause?
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Steve, it's been a while since you've posted. . .
Why, so it has been, Blog-Conscience! I should rectify that!
Indeed you should, Steve.
Unfortunately, I have no ideas. Have you any?
I am Blog-Conscience, Steve, not Blog-Inspiration.
Of course, my mistake. I'll just have to summon Blog-Inspiration, then.
I'm afraid that won't do, Steve, for Blog-Inspiration has deserted you. Had you not noticed?
What? Oh, woe! To what manner of mistreatment had I subjected it for me to be deserving of such a fate?
It was sick of the way that you disregarded all of its ideas in favour of inane posts about gay marriage and your tracking statistics.
Hmm. Well, I suppose that's fair, really. And, on that note, tracking statistics. . .
Steve, you make me sick. But, before I exit the scene, allow me to provide the exciting news that Nick fowler, your comrade in arms from DJSR, has started a blog.
Really? Well, oh. . . what's the opposite of "woe"?
Blessing, consolation, gift, godsend, solace, bliss, euphoria, pleasure, happiness, joy. . .
Joy. That's the one for which I was looking, I believe.
Anyway, here are some of the latest lovelies from the old hit tracker:
1. Telus unreliable This one wouldn't be all that remarkable, except for the followup e-mail that I received a couple of days ago:
Hi there,
Let me introduce myself I'm a 40 y/o male maried wife and four kids. I came accross you blog by typing in Telus unreliable in a search engine.
We are located about 35 km north of Fox Creek Alberta, on an farm. We have had nothing but problems with Telus as a phone company and supposedly internet service provider.
I would like to hear from you as to what kind of problems you have had with this asshole outfit.
The problems we have had were: 1. no phone line at all and having to wait for over a week to get service restored.
2. noise on the line causing all kinds of problems with modems and our fax machine. 3. unreliable bit rates and drop offs fluctuating rates 28.8 kbps to 21 and lower.
Telus has done nothing to try and solve these problems. They don't blink an eye about insulting people, but when you tell them off they threaten with actions.
One of the stupidities that they had suggested was in regards to the laptop that I use. I had explained to them that I could go some place else from my own residence and use the dial up server with a reliable and fairly fast bit rate, however at home I have nothing but problems. These idiots than suggested that I'd purchase an external modem to solve these problems.
I was wondering if you know of any others who have had grief with Telus. Maybe it's about time that some of us started a class action suite against Telus, for neglecting to provide reliable and reasonable services that we pay for.
I hope that you are willing to share your experience with me.
Please forgive me for being so bold as to contact you this way, but I'm more than fed up with Telus. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerly,
Ronald M Rijken
Fox Creek, Alberta
Well, Ronald, I find it quite remarkable that you not only went far enough down in the Google results for that search to find my site, but also went through the trouble of locating my e-mail address once you were here, but that it was too much effort for you to actually read my blog and note that nowhere do I say anything about Telus being unreliable. I assume Telus *is* unreliable, mind you, I just lack any sort of authority on the matter. Have fun with your class action suit anyway, though.
2. Why did Martin Mulroney finish being a Prime Minister? Was it because a election or retirement or something else? The answer to this question - that he resigned in 1993 when electoral defeat seemed certain and imminent, leaving Kim Campbell to pick up the pieces - is pretty well-known among anybody who knows the first thing about Canadian political history. Of course, it's probably not as well-known as the fact that Mr. Mulroney prefers to go by his middle name, Brian, so perhaps I'd best refrain from assumptions of basic knowledge on the part of wahoos who stumble across this space through random web searches.
3. fuck luann If this is an expression of opinion on the strip, I am quite in agreement. If this is a fantasy of yours, seek help.
4. Mackenzie Bowell's accomplishments As Prime Minister? He really didn't have any, except for acquiring the dubious distinction of being the only PM in Canadian history - and, very possibly, the only PM in Commonwealth history - to be ousted from office by his own cabinet (which he appointed). It's quite coincidental, though, that he would come up in my tracking statistics at the very time that my history prof and I are experiencing a slight disagreement over what *prompted* this cabinet revolt, with me saying that it was a result of his dithering over, and subsequent decision on, the matter of remedial legislation to disallow Manitoban legislation widely perceived to be discriminatory towards the province's sizeable francophone minority, and him countering (in the margins of my paper, in red pen) "actually, this isn't true".
5. renee levesque quebec kidnapped Really, now, how much sense would it have made for the FLQ to kidnap one of the politicians the most sympathetic to their cause? Do your research before Googling me, fool!
6. mackenzie bowell's promises to Canada What's with the suddent Mackenzie Bowell fascination? I mean, really, there have probably been more forgettable figures in Canadian political history, but I must have forgotten who they are because I can't think of any.
And now a couple of non-hit tracker related items:
1. If you ever want to get somebody drunk without his/her knowledge - and if you do, please tell me in advance that I might contact the proper authorities, you sick, predatory, fuck - I can suggest no better drink than gin and grapefruit juice.
2. In what I swear is unrelated news, does anybody know of a libel lawyer who might be willing to do some pro bono or discounted work for a good cause?
